


Wakaba Holmes

by amuk



Category: Shoujo Kakumei Utena | Revolutionary Girl Utena
Genre: Comedy, Fluff, Friendship, Gen, Humor, Post-Canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-17
Updated: 2019-03-17
Packaged: 2019-11-19 13:47:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,373
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18136556
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/amuk/pseuds/amuk
Summary: Utena was missing and it was up to Wakaba Holmes to find her.





	Wakaba Holmes

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the Utena Future zine. I was tasked with a fun one, so I took this as a chance to experiment with clichés and genres. Not my best work, but I hope you enjoy it!

 

It was a dark and stormy night.

 

No, wait, that was wrong. Wakaba was getting her tropes mixed up. She was a detective solving a case; in this case, a dame would appear at the door in tears. After a long, fruitless chase, the dame would betray her and break her heart. Though, could that still happen though if she were both the client and the detective?

 

No, probably not. A different tack was needed.  There were other detectives. She could be Sherlock Holmes, with her assistant the Onion Prince. She’d solve the crime, the onion prince would provide some comical relief. Case closed, open and shut.

 

No, wait again. The prince was useless and a bit annoying.  Even if he fit the sidekick character, there was no way she could handle having him around for several episodes. Wakaba would just have to solve this case herself then.

 

What case? Why, the case of the missing Utena. Like there was any other case Wakaba would be interested in.

 

(Well, maybe the case of Saionji, but that’s another tale)

-x-

**Witness 1: Juri**

 

 Juri stepped forward and with pinpoint accuracy stabbed her opponent. If anything, Wakaba was impressed anyone _still_ wanted to fight her—she was certain that Miki’s and Utena’s challenges should have shown just how strong the fencing captain was.

 

Well, _former_ fencing captain. It seemed she had a social ladder to climb at their new school before she was named captain once more. Even the rich elites had troubles.

 

Wakaba pulled out a notebook to note that down. That was a good quote.

 

There was a soft twip and Juri won her last point. A cheer rose up from crowd as she removed her helmet and gave a short bow. Somehow, her hair flawlessly curled around her face. Another quirk of the rich? Before Wakaba could ponder it any further, Juri turned to her. “Wakaba, was it?”

 

She blinked, surprised. “You remember who I am?”

 

“Of course.” Juri smiled softly and Wakaba could swear she saw roses. They framed Juri delicately, petals gently blowing in the breeze and she rubbed her eyes violently until her sight returned to normal. “You’re Utena’s friend.”

 

Utena. Right. The reason she was here. Wakaba squared her shoulders, ready to grill her first witness. It was important to set precedent. “Do you know where she is?”

 

“I haven’t seen her since school…” Absentmindedly, a gloved hand clasped her locket. Her finger tapped it lightly as she pondered the question. “Did she graduate?”

 

“Her grades weren’t…” She couldn’t even complete the lie. Despite her princely ways and athletic grace, Utena had never been one for studying. Still, she had graduated with the rest of her class. They had all gotten their diplomas and tossed their hats and Utena had mentioned that—

 

Wakaba froze. What had Utena said, if anything? Had she even been there? Anthy had left before graduation, before everyone else, and Utena…had Utena been with her? No, that wasn’t quite right.

 

“I…I don’t know,” Wakaba admitted slowly, still unable to comprehend it. How could she have forgotten that? Any of that? “I don’t think so.”

 

“I see.” Comforting her, Juri squeezed Wakaba’s shoulder. There was something soft about her expression, something overbearingly kind. “I think she left ahead of all of us.”

 

“Typical.” Wakaba snorted. “She always liked to leave me behind.”

 

“I’m sure that’s not the case. You remember her, after all.”

 

What did that have to do with anything? She didn’t press the question, instead refocusing on the prize. “Either way, she’s going to learn the hard way that you just can’t shake me off.” Wakaba pumped her fists, gathering her energy once more. “I’m a dog, my bite is worse than my bark!”

 

Juri chuckled, shaking her head. “That’s not how it goes.”

 

“That’s how it goes _now_ ,” she countered confidently.

 

“Of course. Anyways, Anthy might know, but I haven’t seen her since either.” Juri pulled out her phone, scrolling through her contacts until she found the right one. “Miki might know.”

 

A lead. Her first witness and she already had a lead. Wakaba launched a hug on Juri, flying through the air until she wrapped herself around the fencing champion like a blanket. “Oh, thank you thank you thank you.”

 

Doubling over, Juri let out a sharp exhale as all her air left her before straightening up. Somehow, despite all of that, her hair still maintained perfection. “No problem.”

 

As quickly as she had attacked, Wakaba shimmied off.  Pulling out her phone, she grabbed Miki’s information. “My second witness, huh.”

 

“Let me know if you find her.” When she looked up, Wakaba was almost drowning in rose petals. If she thought Juri had looked beautiful before, she looked downright ethereal now. Her former schoolmate reached out and caressed her cheek, a tender expression on her face. “Good luck.”

 

“Th-thank you.” She stumbled back a step or two but didn’t break contact.

 

“You know…my locket, it’s still missing a picture.”

 

A wind blew now, despite the fact that they were indoors. Wakaba wasn’t quite sure how to interpret Juri’s expression. Her fingers were soft on her cheek, her touch warm. She swallowed hard. This wasn’t expected, not in the least. Was this even in character for either of them? Electricity sparked at skin contact and she couldn’t break free from Juri’s magnetic gaze.

 

However, this wasn’t a romance story.  This was a mystery, a thriller perhaps, but not a romance. Before she could get sucked in, Wakaba shook off the petals and pulled away from Juri’s tempting hand.

 

“Anyways, I have to go.” And with that, the detective fled to a safer haven.

-x-

**Witness 2: Miki**

A soft melody trickled into the meadow, the sound of a bird taking flight. An unknown voice sang along, the vocals a cry of freedom. It was amazing how poetic music could make Wakaba feel and by the time she had reached the piano room, she was ready to create a new epic.

 

Alas, now was definitely not the time for it. By the time she reached the classroom door, the hallway reverted back from grass to brick. Alone in a corner, Miki played the piano. A dozen feathers floated around him, the only sign of the change in scenery, and Wakaba could have sworn they had left this weirdness back in high school. Maybe this was a fever dream and they had never graduated. Or the rest of the world was just as strange and there was no escaping.

 

Before anymore shenanigans could occur, she tapped him on the back. A cacophonous sound escaped the instrument as his hands jumped in surprise. “Wakaba!” Peering behind him, he sighed with relief when he spotted her presence. “You should have called out.”

 

“I did,” she lied without a second’s thought. “But you didn’t hear me.”

 

“Ah, I guess so. I was a little zoned out.” Miki gave a sheepish smile, his finger steadily tapping his thigh. A nervous quirk? Wakaba remembered he used to have a stopwatch. Perhaps he had lost it or it was broken. “So what is it?”

 

“Do you know where Utena is?” Wakaba pressed her face close to his, searching for any sign of a lie. The moment he slipped up, she’d catch him. And arrest him. And then force him to cough up the dough.  Only, this wasn’t that sort of case and she wasn’t ready to resort to extortion.

 

“Utena…”Miki’s expression grew troubled, his finger tapping even faster now. She could almost hear the ticking of a clock, the second hand spinning in wild circles. The piano played on its own, a serious theme highlighting the moment. “I haven’t. I tried calling Anthy, but she doesn’t pick up. She only sends me a few texts, here and there.”

 

He pulled out his phone and showed several pictures. Either Anthy had terrible photography skills or hated Miki as most of his pictures featured a confident monkey. There he was, relaxing in a fountain. There he went, scaling a wall. Only glimpses of Anthy could be found in those pictures and even then, there was no hint of pink, no sign of Wakaba’s lost prince.

 

“Nothing huh…” Wakaba sighed, her shoulders hunched forward. Wallowing in pity for a moment, she hunched over slightly. The pictures didn’t even give a hint of location, the backgrounds out of focus. Was this the end of the line for her? Even the piano played quietly now, troubled by this turn of events.

 

And yet, a crescendo appeared as Miki reached out to her. “I could give you her contact info. She might not respond, but it’s better than nothing.  Maybe the rest of the student council knows? You could ask everyone.”

 

“Everyone?” Even more leads. Hope was not lost. The piano roared as it raced to the finish. Wakaba straightened and opened her phone. “Keep talking.”

-x-

_Anthy, where’s the hostage?_

 

Wakaba stared at the response to her very clear and concise message: a picture of a monkey talking a bath in a sink. Cute, she guessed, but a monkey? What did that have to do with anything? Maybe she didn’t just hate Miki, but everyone else as well.

 

Or maybe it was a very elaborate “Do Not Disturb”. Either way, Wakaba would have to persist.

-x-

**Witness 3: Nanami**

 

“A farm?” Wakaba cocked her head, not quite sure she understood what she was seeing.

 

A farm, check.

 

Livestock, check.

 

Nanami, living on said farm. Even mentally, she couldn’t check it off. A dozen questions floated through her head—why? How?

 

“Oh, didn’t you know? Farmers are all the rage now. I discarded the “shucks” and vocabulary, though. There’s no need to degrade myself that much.” In what were possibly the most fashionable overalls that existed, Nanami sneered down at her. It was impressive, really, how even the sight of a pitchfork and bucket of eggs didn’t ruin the effect of the sneer. “Though you are a friend of Utena’s, I suppose I can’t expect you to know _that_ much.”

 

Several chickens, three elephants, and a cow followed her as she walked. A golden bell gleamed from the cow’s neck, worth more than Wakaba’s house. “Why all the animals?”

 

“They...” Nanami frowned, as though she had never really considered the idea before. Turning around she squinted at the flock of animals around her. After several moments, she found a solution and faced Wakaba once more, her expression just as haughty. “Every girl has these experiences.”

 

“Huh?” Wakaba raised an eyebrow. “What experiences?”

 

“Yes, that is how it is with girls.” Nanami smiled, nodding sagely. “Whether it is an egg or a cowbell, we cannot tell anyone about it. Of course, that means this too must remain hush hush.” If possible, she wilted at the thought of it. Quietly, so quietly Wakaba had to strain to hear it, she muttered under her breath. “Really, we can’t share anything.”

 

At that very moment, the clouds covered the sun, leaving only a sliver of light.  It shone on Nanami like a spotlight and she fell to her knees.  Her livestock encircled her, sitting down as they mournfully cried up. Sorrowfully, she covered her face. “Truly, we are all alone.”

 

Wakaba had signed up for many things but not the next Disney Princess. Or whatever this was. “So...Utena?”

 

Her question went unheard as Nanami sighed dramatically.

-x-

This time, the picture was a blurry picture of a monkey sunning itself near a window. At the very least, if Anthy wanted to harass her, she should do it in high quality.  Or put a nice filter.

 

 _Put more effort!_ Wakaba texted back angrily.

-x-

**Witness 4: Saionji**

 

As usual, Saionji’s glorious mane of green hair floated in the wind artistically. He could have been in a shampoo commercial or on the set of a romance. Instead, he was sitting on a bench in old greenhouse, long since abandoned by Anthy.  Even the withering roses couldn’t disrupt his image; he seemed more like a tragic hero waiting for his doomed heroine.

 

Wakaba gingerly stepped on the scattered petals, not sure if she should approach. His expression was serious as he wrote in a journal, his script gently flowing from the tip of his pen. What tormented tales could he be writing?

 

“I had three eggs for breakfast,” he muttered softly, his voice so low Wakaba had to strain to hear it. “I wonder if Touga will actually write back this time; Anthy was the only one who would exchange diaries with me.”

 

Wakaba took a step back. She had been wrong; he was actually the mourning princess. If he had asked, she would have exchanged diaries with him. Diaries and eggs and whatever he wanted to. Even now, she had a corner of her room clean just in case.

 

Before he could notice her, she fled. She was not quite brave enough to face him yet.

-x-

Wakaba tilted her head, trying to stare at the photo in a different angle. Maybe it’d make more sense upside down? She craned her neck even further, trying to change the angle. It had to be of the monkey, it was always about the monkey. She had seen a hundred photos by now and none of them were of Anthy or even more importantly, Utena.

 

 _Abstract art?_ she guessed.

-x-

**Witness 5: Shadow Girls**

 

“Have you heard?”

 

Wakaba stared as two shadows excitedly talked to each other, each girl posing dramatically against the brick wall. A quick glance around her indicated that no one else was in the hallway. “Heard what?”

 

“The tale of the lost prince, of the broken princess.” One of the girls suddenly wore an impressive dress, or at least, the shadow of an impressive dress. She twirled around slowly. “The princess is now looking for her prince, but will she ever find her?”

 

“Her?” Wakaba raised an eyebrow. There was still no one else in the hall, no matter how hard she looked. “Didn’t you just say prince?”

 

“I said car,” the other shadow girl replied, transforming into an impressive car. On her hood, there was a statue of a monkey eating bananas. Without a moment’s hesitation, she ran over the princess, leaving a set of tire marks in her wake. 

 

With a cough, the princess gingerly sat up, dusting the dirt off her. After she cleaned, she reached up to touch her now frizzy hair. “Oh no! The prince will never find me now!”

 

“Okayyyy.” Wakaba turned heel and quickly jogged away from it all. Even she knew better than to listen to her imagination.

-x-

A monkey slowly loosening his tie. His cheeks were a bright red, his paw covering his cheek.

 

Wakaba almost dropped the phone before furiously texting back, _EROTICA??? D <_

-x-

**Witness 6: Touga**

 

“Utena?” Touga stretched languorously on the car, his shirt unbuttoning itself before Wakaba’s eyes. She couldn’t tear her eyes away.

 

Not that she wanted to. Sure, she was on an important case and still on the clock, but even detectives were allowed a few vices. And if Touga insisted on exposing his chest like that, well, even Wakaba was human.

 

“Yes, do you know where she is?” Wakaba wiped the drool from her mouth as his shirt flew off in the wind. “Or Anthy, Miki said they might be together.”

 

“Hmm…” Arching his back, he gazed up at the sky before turning over. The view was great either way. Behind her, Wakaba could hear several cars crashing. “No idea.”

 

“No idea?” Wakaba frowned. He was her last lead. “Not even one? Didn’t you hang out with her brother all the time?”

 

“I did, back in there.” He gave her a look, running his hand through his hair. “But I’m not there anymore, and he’s still trapped. What a fool.”

 

Where they exes? His expression was scornful as he stood up. The button his pants flew open and Wakaba contemplated the merits of questioning him further. “So no one knows.”

 

“Anthy does if anyone does. But she’ll be in the last place you expect,” he cryptically responded, his zipper slowly going down. His pants were next, she knew.

 

A one-night stand. Other detectives had those, right? Her mouth dry, Wakaba shook her head quickly. She had to keep her head in the game. “Got it, got it, need to go.”

 

As she turned, she heard the sound of fabric falling and it took all of her willpower not to turn around.

-x-

Wakaba stared at the monkey, standing next to a fancy vase. He was posing, a model at work, but the vase caught her eye more. She knew that particular mix of blue and green, with pink veins running through it. She even knew the painting in the background, a golden backdrop of a sunflower fields.

 

Well, it seemed like Touga was right. Anthy was in the last place Wakaba had expected. Somehow, she was inside Wakaba’s home.

-x-

**Witness 7: Anthy**

 

It had been over a week since Wakaba had returned home. As she pulled into the driveway, she spotted an Indian woman in floppy sunhat standing outside her door on her porch. Running along the rails was a familiar monkey.  The woman, noticing her, gave a small wave.

 

Anthy.

 

“How did you get into my house?” Wakaba asked, the words just spilling out of her, the second she was within earshot. Rapidly, she examined the front windows and door; nothing looked broken here, at least. Maybe the back?

 

“You left your key in the door,” Anthy replied, holding up a key that should not exist. Wakaba had her key in her purse. Her mom had her spare. There was just no way—her keys were missing. She could have sworn she saw them this morning but the keys were missing.

 

“How?”

 

Anthy snapped a picture of her monkey as he tumbled off the rail. Another picture for Miki? “Maybe you were in a hurry to leave.”

 

Playing oblivious, eh? Two could play at that game. Wakaba was not a seasoned detective for nothing. She leaned against the door as though she had all the time in the world. The wind blew, the leaves rustled, and Wakaba puffed an imaginary cigar. Even her words were slow and drawn out. “What are you doing here?”

 

“You’re looking for Utena, right?”

 

“Utena?!” Perking up, she leaped at the other girl and clasped her hands. Maybe she couldn’t play the game, but that no longer mattered. “Where is she?”

 

Freezing up momentarily, Anthy stared at their joined hands. “I thought only Utena was like this, but I guess even her friends would be too.” Before Wakaba could question her, she pointed her head at the door. “She’s in there.”

 

Utena was that close? Immediately, she dropped Anthy’s hands and dashed to the door. Yanking it open, she ran down the hall and into the living room, looking for a flash of pink. For those ridiculous shorts and those long pink locks and—

 

“Sorry I’m late.” Wakaba stopped when she spotted a girl sitting on the couch. She took off her black cap, revealing shortly cropped pink hair. “I missed you, Wakaba.”

 

“Utena?” Wakaba stared for a second before launching herself at her friend. There was no music or spotlights or even petals scattering in the wind, just Utena’s warmth under her own.

 

“Wakaba! You’re going to kill me one day.” Utena leaned back with the weight, her head knocking against the couch. Wakaba just gripped her even tighter. Gently, Utena patted her back. “I’m sorry.”

 

“You said that already.”  Wakaba leaned back till she could see Utena’s face. She looked healthy.  Good. Good. Without a second’s hesitation, she banged their heads together. “Now you’re forgiven.”

 

“Thank you,” Utena groaned, her arms still wrapped around her. “Did you have to do that?”

 

“Yes.” Seeing stars, she rested her forehead on Utena’s shoulder. She had a dozen questions to ask, a dozen things she wanted to say, but her stomach growled and so she stuck to the basics. Everything else could wait till after.

 

She had her teeth on Utena and this time, just like a dog, she wouldn’t let go.


End file.
